That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
