I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My ATM looks so different sober.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
