the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sext me about skeletons
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
