a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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