I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
