At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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