Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
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