It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
