dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I met the friendliest cop last night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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