Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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