im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
