I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
