I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
