Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
