i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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