Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
