Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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