i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
