I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
