the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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