You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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