Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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