if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He did a backflip because drugs
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
