i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
