she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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