$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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