I wish you could order shots online.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
