Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize