I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Randomize
