Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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