I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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