Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
