I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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