Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
