Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
