Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
