would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
