Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
