He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
