I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
