So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
