I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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