We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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