she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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