Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize