i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
