he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
