scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
