One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she peed on how many people?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
