I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
