I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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