420 ftw
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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