So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
