you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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