I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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