rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
