ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
