is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
