24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
