Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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