he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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