I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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