Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
