He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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