Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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