You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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