So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
