Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
